Category Archives: Catholicism

Topics specifically referencing Catholicism

Reading: Meister Eckhart Selected Writings by Oliver Davies

Okay, so it is no surprise to me that my journey bring me to Eckhart. To be honest, until last year the only reference to Eckhart I had found was in the movie Jacob’s Ladder. The main characters discuss Eckhart’s perception of demons and angels freeing us from the material world to which we cling for existence and value. The movie is based on Ambrose Bierce short story Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge. I saw the movie years ago and this discussion about Eckhart still gives me chills. A few months ago, I watched the movie again for the first time in decades. Immediately, I jumped on Amazon and bought the first book I could find: Meister Eckhart Selected Writings by Oliver Davies.

Since reading this book, I have enjoyed several others and will do reviews on those as well. Any fans of Christian Mysticism will enjoy this book. Eckhart’s story and contribution to the philosophical understanding of the Godhead is beyond measure. He doesn’t write in riddles and his parables are sound. He turns a critical eye within himself to arrive at his assertions and they ring true.

This book, specifically, is pop culture Eckhart. It is the best, most understandable, and most memorable discussions and sermons he produced. I can’t cite or say a single negative thing about this book or Eckhart after reading it. And that bothers me. I am accustomed to disagreements. I welcome positions that challenge my own understanding or beliefs and I didn’t feel that way reading this book. His other books, available through your local library, will help push that individual envelope should the Eckhart fan want challenges. This book is very well thought out. The organization and structure is smooth.

Is there anything wrong with reading a book that doesn’t challenge your perceptions? No. Did I gain valuable insight into myself, God, and Eckhart? Absolutely. Would I recommend it? Without hesitation. Almost every page in this book has a highlight mark or a dog-eared page. I devoured it and it resounded within me. However, if you discover Eckhart speaks to you personally like I felt, don’t stop with this book. There are many more that you won’t find on Amazon. Check out eBay!

Reading: On the Cosmic Mystery of Jesus Christ by St. Maximus the Confessor

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Maximus the Confessor put forth many concepts through analytically sound reasoning that could be considered fringe. Today, he is a Saint although he died as a heretic. When religious-political winds changed around the Monothelite Heresy of Christ’s nature, Maximus attained his Sainthood. Maximus believed that Man’s greatest endeavor was deification: becoming God. His assertions are bold concepts for their day and well-reasoned.

I continued to pursue a greater understanding of Maximus the Confessor and next on my reading list was On the Cosmic Mystery of Jesus Christ. As I read, I experienced Maximus asking the tough questions about our own humanity and Jesus’ role in our salvation. Ask ten different people “Who was Jesus?” and you will get ten different, but related, answers. Maximus was unafraid to address the impressive philosophical challenges of such a question. My reading was well rewarded. Inside the pages, I learned to appreciate the greater role and gift each human being possesses by its creation in God’s Image.

As I read, I like to dog ear and highlight passages that I really enjoy or that speak to me. Just like in life, there are times when you see, hear, or discover something about yourself or the world that just feels right. Feels down to our being that what you now understand is a universal certainty or conviction. During these blog post reviews, I want to make a practice of sharing these passages. Like any famous quote, it can inspire further study in its author.

“One man sets forth an admirable example of superior perseverance and pious courage for other human beings, if indeed there were a man distinguished in intelligence and virtue, and competent in himself to uncover, through unwavering engagement in formidable struggles, the truth which has meanwhile lay hidden.” Ambiguum 8

For me, this is the challenge for humanity. While the person described above sounds like a super hero, there is no talk of flying faster than a speeding bullet. If one can heroically aspire to heavenly virtues upon this physical world, this passage describes that aspiration.

“Perhaps it is even the case that the present inequality is allowed to prevail in order to display our rational capacity for preferring virtue above everything else. For the change and alteration of the body and of things external are for all human beings one and the same thing-both a bearing and a being born along- which also knows chaos and conductibility as its only stability and its only security.” Ambiguum 8

Reading: Maximus Confessor Selected Writings by George C. Berthold

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After reading the Philokalia, I made a list of authors that I wanted to read. That list included philosophers, saints, and early Christian mystics. One of the first was Saint Maximus the Confessor. I had read the Wikipedia entry on him and was fascinated by him. My own belief in ego death reflected in his philosophy and I saw echoes of my own experiences with the God Image, the deification of man, and reconnecting with the Source.

In Maximus’ time, there was a great debate over whether Jesus had only a Divine Will or both a Divine Will and a human will. Monophysitism put forward that Christ only had a Divine Will. Dyophysitism believed Christ had both a Divine Will and a human will. This was a tremendous debate within the new church.

Maximus the Confessor believed in the Dyophysite position. He believed the only way Christ could fully demonstrate his sacrifice and vulnerability was to be faced by the same temptations as God’s creation. Ultimately, this is how the Church evolved but at the time it resulted in a heresy conviction and cost Maximus his tongue and his right hand. He died shortly thereafter in 662 AD.

As a result of the Sixth Ecumenical Council in 681, Maximus was vindicated and the Church declared Christ to have both a Divine Will and a human will. He was made a saint and is one of the last men to be recognized by both the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Church as a Father of the Church.

The book Maximus Confessor Selected Writings by George C. Berthold is divided into 6 key parts: The Introduction, The Four Hundred Chapters on Love, The Commentary on the Our Father, The Chapters on Knowledge, and The Church’s Mystagogy.

The Introduction provides the historical framework necessary to appreciate the world of Maximus’ time. It also gives a brief biography of Saint Maximus the Confessor to include his teachers and the great controversies of the time. The Christian Church wasn’t built in a day. Its creation was the result of many iterations of discussions and debates during the first millennium of the Church’s existence. These debates were incredibly passionate as the founders felt a responsibility almost beyond imagination. There were also consequences for those who didn’t follow the popular line of reasoning. Theologians incorporated and synthesized elements of Judaism and Greek philosophy to fully understand the Christ phenomena. Maximus was a student of Pseudo-Dionysius and also integrated the work of Plotinus, the father of Neoplatonism, into his own beliefs.

The Four Hundred Chapters on Love is also known as the Four Centuries on Love. It contains 400 verses that represent the most beautiful reflections on God, Love, and Jesus Christ ever written. It also delves into the destructive force of allowing passions to enter the heart. After I read these verses I saw a change in myself and my own understanding. I promised myself I would reread them regularly and incorporate them into my prayers and meditations.

The Commentary on the Our Father is a delightful dissection and discussion of the Lord’s Prayer. My own experiences of coming back to the Church were reinforced by this discussion. As a child and young adult, I recited the Lord’s Prayer with rote accuracy but without an understanding of its deeper meaning. One of the first things that I did as I came back was to meditate on each line of the prayer and how it evolved for me. The Lord’s Prayer hadn’t changed, by its personal meaning and reflection on my understanding of God had been altered dramatically by the passing years.

The Chapters on Knowledge or Two Centuries on Knowledge are some of the most deeply moving philosophical thoughts on God, the human ego, redemption, and salvation I have read. Like the Four Hundred Chapters on Love, there are two hundred verses to serve as a basis for meditation and prayer. Maximus’ deep understanding and inspired writing cannot help but move one to a greater appreciation of our role as God’s creation.

The Church’s Mystagogy discusses the symbolism of the rites within the Divine Synaxis. Although this was my least favorite part of the book, it was interesting nonetheless. The first eight chapters were the most rewarding with in-depth discussions of man’s relationship and responsibility to both God and himself and the logical ransom Christ paid for his Father’s creation. After chapter eight I found it became a little dry for the next 14 pages. Stepping through the individual rites and their meaning wasn’t as engaging for me personally.

In summary, this book will be a part of my permanent collection. Like a wise old friend, I find its company comforting and I am often surprised by the counsel I receive from its pages. Whenever I feel distracted, this book can be relied on to provide the answer I need. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Unhappiness Signifies a Spiritual Hole

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Talking with a new friend yesterday, we discussed the interesting methods of how God came into our lives and our observations on others. I mentioned that I did not feel I came to God. Rather, God found me. I hadn’t been looking for God but, in retrospect, I was lost and desperate. My unhappiness was based in many areas. An inability to forgive myself, a feeling that I was on the wrong path, and that the further I went down the path, the farther I was getting from my own salvation. I was living the way our society judges success: money, toys, promotions, etc. I had tried to escape my own responsibility for my salvation through alcohol and later food. However, when I finally came to the realization that spiritually I was missing something important, everything changed for me. Not overnight, perhaps, but in so many critical ways.

My friend, to the contrary, simply realized that his life was good. Like me, he was born and raised Christian and had drifted into a more agnostic perspective. My friend reflected on his good fortune and felt he needed to express his thanks. A big Steven Covey fan, he had dedicated time each week to developing his mind, maintaining his body, and cultivating relationships of the heart. However, he was missing a contribution to his spiritual well being and this led him back to the church. Although born and raised Protestant, he found the relative anonymity of the Catholic church refreshing. He wanted to go to church to develop his relationship with God and did not want the experience of intense neighborly fellowship that smaller churches represent. After two years, he discovered he enjoyed it and decided to officially join the Catholic Church.

While my connection was with St. Maximus the Confessor, my friend found St. Augustine called to his heart. We reflected that regardless of your religion, there are so many wonderful and life changing observations by the saints that everyone of every faith could appreciate. It is unfortunate that because they have the title “Saint” and are therefore associated with the Catholic Church, people avoid them on general principle.

Reading: Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross

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If you haven’t read Dark Night of the Soul, it is a hauntingly beautiful work. As I read it, I developed a new appreciation for my own experiences. Growing up and throughout college I had occasional night terrors. As I came to the final chapters of the book, I had three more after escaping them for over a decade. Coincidentally, the chapters of the book were well-timed for my experiences.

As a child and as a young adult (through college), I would dread the semi-conscious state of paralysis that would occur. Trapped, unable to breath or move I was visited by terrifying entities. I specifically remember one in college where a black cloud with red eyes appeared in the room and slowly covered me as I struggled. Without warning it lunged over my prone body suffocating me under its presence. When I asked my brother whether he ever experienced them, he said that he did not remember night terrors but he did remember the red eyes in the bedroom we shared growing up.

As I finished God Doesn’t Whisper, I had three in the space of two weeks. The first was a strange dream that felt like a night terror where I was being dragged powerlessly by an entity through a cavern-like hallway. I saw my brother sitting next to the wall and that drove me to call him with the question. At a point, I stopped being terrified and willed my body to stand up. If you thought I was surprised by demonstrating this ability to control myself, you should have seen the face of the entity. It turned around and, although emotionally featureless, expressed concern that I read as “You should not be able to do that”. Then the dream ended.

The next night terror was inside my home as a malevolent spirit in this dream state was turning on and off lights, setting a fire in the fire place, and tormenting me. I ran through the house in this dream state willing my body to move and took a page from the movie the Exorcist yelling over and over “The Power of Christ Compels You to Leave!”. I was so vocal, I actually woke my wife and she woke me up.

The third one occurred the day before publishing. However, this one was different than ever before. Strangely, this one left me a souvenir. I awoke with the terrified paralysis and saw a white shimmering figure next to the bed. Again, I could not breathe but I did not feel threatened. It took all my will to raise up and will my arm to reach out and touch this being. My hand felt chilled as I swiped at the shimmer. I awoke immediately and felt something underneath me. It was my wife’s boarding pass for our trip to Minneapolis when I had the huge revelation that we are each responsible for our own salvation. That confession and forgiveness are key components of our lives today, not waiting for judgment day. How it appeared underneath me after being missing/thrown away six months ago cannot be explained. I asked my wife and she could not remember the last time she had seen it.

After these three events, I finishing reading the final chapters of Dark Night of the Soul. Many of the parallels and examples St John of the Cross speaks about reflect my experiences of Night Terrors. The soul, weighed down by sin and unworthiness, trembles paralyzed by the Divine presence. He also described the beings as dark shapes with Divine intentions. It reminded me of a quote from the movie Jacob’s Ladder when Danny Aiello’s character is talking to Tim Robbins. Per the entry in Wikipedia, he cites the 14th-century Christian mystic Meister Eckhart: “Eckhart saw Hell too. He said, ‘The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won’t let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they’re not punishing you’, he said. ‘They’re freeing your soul. So, if you’re frightened of dying and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth.'”

Perhaps the semi-conscious state is actually a super-conscious state. Perhaps the terrors and entities are there to help somehow. The next time, I promise myself, I will say a quick prayer and let go of my fear and attachments in these moments. The alternative is that this life is a delicate simulation to help me overcome the spiritual obstacles I have on my own path to salvation.

Background

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In March 2011, as I awaited a tsunami in Hawaii, my midlife crisis was answered by an incredible dream. I was shown the mechanics of something wonderful. The message was simple: all I needed was imagination and will to create change in the world. I had been unhappy for a decade, feeling I was a victim of soul-crushing societal programming and parental pressures to climb the corporate ladder and found that happiness was promised just over the next hill time and time again. I felt like the cranky old man who tells stories of how he had to walk uphill to school in the snow both ways as a child.

After the dream, I took charge of my life. I started writing, lost 100 pounds, and got back into shape. Over the next two years I wrote in hotel rooms, on dinner napkins, on airplanes, and texted myself ideas as I drove or hiked: whenever inspiration struck. I incorporated what I saw in that first dream into my own life and into the observations of the world around me. I captured every epiphany I experienced until I had over 300 pages of notes and anecdotes.

As I edited God, Gravity, and the Change Between the Couch Cushions, I came to a fork in the road. I felt the journey ahead was my choice. I could apply what I learned to serve myself or to serve others. I tried for two years to deny my experience as religious intervention. You see, I was raised Lutheran. What my wife likes to call “Catholic-Lite”. However, I had never felt a connection to God or my church. I grew more agnostic with each passing year until I actually became anti-organized religion. I wasn’t an Atheist or anti-God, but I saw the transgressions and failures of organized religion as a fatal flaw in logic and reason. This was compounded by such news as religious groups attempting to pass laws against critical thinking. I had my degree in systems engineering and although science and religion did not conflict with each other in my life, when your neighbor builds a fence it makes you wonder why.

My journey of discovery would have been easier to explain as a religious experience but I wasn’t ready to admit that to myself. The elation I felt and the epiphanies that I saw, even the choice of words I used to describe my new understanding were unlike anything I had written before. I always loved science fiction and if given the choice, I imagined writing such a book later in life. Philosophy was not my strong suit. In college, I earned a ‘C’ in Philosophy. However, the tone and texture of my writing was now focused on philosophy and ethics.

In late February 2013, everything was rushing to a decisive point. My visions became more insistent and during a trip to Minnesota to visit family, the dam final broke. During an incredible night I learned the power of confession and forgiveness and that ultimately, we are each responsible for our own salvation. I had chosen the path to follow God and the Divine Pattern of God’s Image within myself. I would endeavor to annihilate my own ego and piously remove myself from earthly attachments. In the space my ego had occupied within my heart, I would endeavor to fill that emptiness with the Holy Spirit and God’s Grace and to become an instrument of His Will.

In April 2013, two events happened at nearly the same time. Several numbers kept coming up in my life and one night I ‘Googled’ the number 662 on a lark. That simple action opened a flood gate of discovery. One coincidence became two, then four, then sixteen onward and upward at a geometric rate. As I turned this corner of discovery, I was reunited with an old friend, David. David was in my unit in Alaska and an old friend from my Support Platoon. I knew David was Catholic so as we caught up, I described what I experienced and he shared some of his own experiences from Iraq. Although I attributed my original dream and all the subsequent life changing experiences to God, I was still firmly against organized religion. However, in a single evening talking with David, even that final bulwark collapsed.

I started to read. A LOT. Mainly early Christian Mystics and several Saints that I encountered along the way. I wasn’t looking for answers. I was looking for teachers able to craft their experiences and contemplation on the Divine in such a way so that I may discover my own truths within my heart. I’ll share each of those books and what I learned from them in future blog posts. It is heartbreaking that so many unhappy people in desperate need of spiritual counsel from all faiths avoid such authors because they associate Saints with the Catholic Church. I am not Catholic but I assure you that there are no better spokespeople or resources for such diverse and intrinsically valuable contemplation as these legends of spirituality.

God Doesn’t Whisper is available on Amazon

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Hey all,

Just announcing the upload and release of God Doesn’t Whisper on Amazon. For Prime members it is free to borrow. I look forward to everyone’s feedback.

Thanks,

Matthew

The vacation is over…

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After uploading God, Gravity, and the Change Between the Couch Cushions last Friday I promised myself to take a few days off. I caught up on chores, walked the dogs a bunch, and enjoyed a few movie marathons.

Now I am screening the book with a few friends and family counting on them to help identify any errors for me and provide constructive feedback. After staring at a screen for months without the benefit of a professional editor I know that some mistakes slipped through the process. Hopefully they will help me catch them before I actively share it with the rest of the world.

Back to work on the second book now. As I said in GGCBCC, the first book represented a philosophy around pattern recognition and everyday observations of the human condition while the second book will focus on theological concepts surrounding the Divine Pattern and my experiences.

God, Gravity, and the Change Between the Couch Cushions is available on Amazon

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God, Gravity, and the Change Between the Couch Cushions has been uploaded and released on Amazon. For Prime members it is free to borrow. I look forward to everyone’s feedback.

Thanks,

Matt

Letter to Lucifer released on Amazon

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On April 19th, 2013, I wrote this letter. I was in the middle of finishing a chapter for my book GGBCCC. In the midst of typing, my train of thought was interrupted and Letter to Lucifer from The Witness just came out. I did not sit down intending to write it.
This is just a letter, perhaps two pages in length. I included it with God doesn’t Whisper. I was moved to write it in a heavenly ecstasy of emotion.

http://www.amazon.com/Letter-Lucifer-The-Witness-Matthew-ebook/dp/B00CGFK6KQ/

I usually put it up for free download once a month.