Category Archives: Spirituality

The term spirituality lacks a definitive definition, although social scientists have defined spirituality as the search for “the sacred,” where “the sacred” is broadly defined as that which is set apart from the ordinary and worthy of veneration.

Reading: Fifty Spiritual Homilies of St. Macarius the Egyptian by Pseudo-Macarius

When I began seeing the deep and lasting impact of God in my life, I was finishing my first book.  The universe facilitated my introduction to Maximus the Confessor and the Philokalia.  From there I read Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross and then The Selected Works of Maximus the Confessor. Maximus made tremendous effort to explain the condition of the human heart. I returned to the Philokalia and several passages struck truthful chords within my heart and my dreams. One of these passages, often cited without proper reference is from St. Macarious the Egyption. That passage is:

“Within the heart are unfathomable depths.  It is but a small vessel and yet dragons and lions are there, and poisonous creatures and all the treasures of wickedness; rough, uneven paths are there, and gaping chasms.  There likewise is God, there are the angels, there life and the Kingdom, the light and the Apostles, the heavenly cities and the treasures of grace: all things are there.”

This passage is from the 50 Spiritual Homilies of St. Macarious the Egyptian.

There is no greater truth than the power and depth of the human heart are beyond measure and comprehension.  Each of us is defined by our actions.  Our capacity for good, selfless acts is balanced by the depth of our desire to preserve and serve our ego and self.  Inside the heart is the Godhead.  We were created in God’s image, given free will, and stained by original sin.  Each day we wake up and choose the roles we will play in our lives and in our

St. Macarious in the tradition of the Desert Fathers rejected a comfortable life and moved to the desert to medidate on God and our role as his creation.  His focus is the human heart and the spiritual battle within.  It is a deeply driven combat manual of spiritual warfare.  Taken as a whole, it is revolutionary in its scope and promise.

When I began reading it, I didn’t appreciate the degree and the forms that evil can take.  In protecting and serving our ego, we sacrifice our godly image and values.

Reading: Meister Eckhart Selected Writings by Oliver Davies

Okay, so it is no surprise to me that my journey bring me to Eckhart. To be honest, until last year the only reference to Eckhart I had found was in the movie Jacob’s Ladder. The main characters discuss Eckhart’s perception of demons and angels freeing us from the material world to which we cling for existence and value. The movie is based on Ambrose Bierce short story Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge. I saw the movie years ago and this discussion about Eckhart still gives me chills.  A few months ago, I watched the movie again for the first time in decades. Immediately, I jumped on Amazon and bought the first book I could find: Meister Eckhart Selected Writings by Oliver Davies.

Since reading this book, I have enjoyed several others and will do reviews on those as well. Any fans of Christian Mysticism will enjoy this book. Eckhart’s story and contribution to the philosophical understanding of the Godhead is beyond measure. He doesn’t write in riddles and his parables are sound. He turns a critical eye within himself to arrive at his assertions and they ring true.

This book, specifically, is pop culture Eckhart. It is the best, most understandable, and most memorable discussions and sermons he produced. I can’t cite or say a single negative thing about this book or Eckhart after reading it. And that bothers me. I am accustomed to disagreements. I welcome positions that challenge my own understanding or beliefs and I didn’t feel that way reading this book. His other books, available through your local library, will help push that individual envelope should the Eckhart fan want challenges. This book is very well thought out. The organization and structure is smooth.

Is there anything wrong with reading a book that doesn’t challenge your perceptions? No. Did I gain valuable insight into myself, God, and Eckhart? Absolutely. Would I recommend it?  Without hesitation. Almost every page in this book has a highlight mark or a dog-eared page. I devoured it and it resounded within me. However, if you discover Eckhart speaks to you personally like I felt, don’t stop with this book. There are many more that you won’t find on Amazon. Check out eBay!

Reading: On the Cosmic Mystery of Jesus Christ by St. Maximus the Confessor

Maximus the Confessor put forth many concepts through analytically sound reasoning that could be considered fringe. Today, he is a Saint although he died as a heretic.  When religious-political winds changed around the Monothelite Heresy of Christ’s nature, Maximus attained his Sainthood. Maximus believed that Man’s greatest endeavor was deification: becoming God. His assertions are bold concepts for their day and well-reasoned.

I continued to pursue a greater understanding of Maximus the Confessor and next on my reading list was On the Cosmic Mystery of Jesus Christ. As I read, I experienced Maximus asking the tough questions about our own humanity and Jesus’ role in our salvation. Ask ten different people “Who was Jesus?” and you will get ten different, but related, answers. Maximus was unafraid to address the impressive philosophical challenges of such a question. My reading was well rewarded. Inside the pages, I learned to appreciate the greater role and gift each human being possesses by its creation in God’s Image.

As I read, I like to dog ear and highlight passages that I really enjoy or that speak to me. Just like in life, there are times when you see, hear, or discover something about yourself or the world that just feels right. Feels down to our being that what you now understand is a universal certainty or conviction. During these blog post reviews, I want to make a practice of sharing these passages. Like any famous quote, it can inspire further study in its author.

“One man sets forth an admirable example of superior perseverance and pious courage for other human beings, if indeed there were a man distinguished in intelligence and virtue, and competent in himself to uncover, through unwavering engagement in formidable struggles, the truth which has meanwhile lay hidden.”   Ambiguum 8

For me, this is the challenge for humanity. While the person described above sounds like a super hero, there is no talk of flying faster than a speeding bullet. If one can heroically aspire to heavenly virtues upon this physical world, this passage describes that aspiration.

“Perhaps it is even the case that the present inequality is allowed to prevail in order to display our rational capacity for preferring virtue above everything else. For the change and alteration of the body and of things external are for all human beings one and the same thing-both a bearing and a being born along- which also knows chaos and conductibility as its only stability and its only security.” Ambiguum 8

 

 

The Dream Part 1: See and Do

Well, I’ve had some time to digest the dream I had on the Feast of Saint Matthew.  Even during the dream I remember asking God how I would remember everything.  Historically, if I don’t capture a dream quickly after waking up, I find it more difficult to remember as time passes.  In this case, there was so much information being passed and so many questions being answered I was anxious that I would forget something important.  I was overwhelmed by the experience.  I was told I would remember when I needed to remember and that I would know when I needed to know.

The biggest direction I received was also the simplest.  It wasn’t directed at me alone, rather it was a message for everyone.  See and Do.  Do and See.  See God’s Hand in my life and see where I can help others.  Then Do something, even if it is something small and minor.  Then See the results and follow-up as needed with further action.  See and Do.  Do and See.

 

Background

In March 2011, as I awaited a tsunami in Hawaii, my midlife crisis was answered by an incredible dream.  I was shown the mechanics of something wonderful.   The message was simple: all I needed was imagination and will to create change in the world.  I had been unhappy for a decade, feeling I was a victim of soul-crushing societal programming and parental pressures to climb the corporate ladder and found that happiness was promised just over the next hill time and time again.  I felt like the cranky old man who tells stories of how he had to walk uphill to school in the snow both ways as a child.

After the dream, I took charge of my life.  I started writing, lost 100 pounds, and got back into shape.  Over the next two years I wrote in hotel rooms, on dinner napkins, on airplanes, and texted myself ideas as I drove or hiked: whenever inspiration struck.  I incorporated what I saw in that first dream into my own life and into the observations of the world around me.  I captured every epiphany I experienced until I had over 300 pages of notes and anecdotes.

As I edited God, Gravity, and the Change Between the Couch Cushions, I came to a fork in the road.  I felt the journey ahead was my choice.  I could apply what I learned to serve myself or to serve others.  I tried for two years to deny my experience as religious intervention.  You see, I was raised Lutheran.  What my wife likes to call “Catholic-Lite”.  However, I had never felt a connection to God or my church.  I grew more agnostic with each passing year until I actually became anti-organized religion.  I wasn’t an Atheist or anti-God, but I saw the transgressions and failures of organized religion as a fatal flaw in logic and reason.  This was compounded by such news as religious groups attempting to pass laws against critical thinking.  I had my degree in systems engineering and although science and religion did not conflict with each other in my life, when your neighbor builds a fence it makes you wonder why.

My journey of discovery would have been easier to explain as a religious experience but I wasn’t ready to admit that to myself.  The elation I felt and the epiphanies that I saw, even the choice of words I used to describe my new understanding were unlike anything I had written before.  I always loved science fiction and if given the choice, I imagined writing such a book later in life.  Philosophy was not my strong suit.  In college, I earned a ‘C’ in Philosophy.  However, the tone and texture of my writing was now focused on philosophy and ethics.

In late February 2013, everything was rushing to a decisive point.  My visions became more insistent and during a trip to Minnesota to visit family, the dam final broke.  During an incredible night I learned the power of confession and forgiveness and that ultimately, we are each responsible for our own salvation.  I had chosen the path to follow God and the Divine Pattern of God’s Image within myself.  I would endeavor to annihilate my own ego and piously remove myself from earthly attachments.  In the space my ego had occupied within my heart, I would endeavor to fill that emptiness with the Holy Spirit and God’s Grace and to become an instrument of His Will.

In April 2013, two events happened at nearly the same time.  Several numbers kept coming up in my life and one night I ‘Googled’ the number 662 on a lark.  That simple action opened a flood gate of discovery.  One coincidence became two, then four, then sixteen onward and upward at a geometric rate.  As I turned this corner of discovery, I was reunited with an old friend, David.  David was in my unit in Alaska and an old friend from my Support Platoon.  I knew David was Catholic so as we caught up, I described what I experienced and he shared some of his own experiences from Iraq.  Although I attributed my original dream and all the subsequent life changing experiences to God, I was still firmly against organized religion.  However, in a single evening talking with David, even that final bulwark collapsed.

I started to read.  A LOT.  Mainly early Christian Mystics and several Saints that I encountered along the way.   I wasn’t looking for answers.  I was looking for teachers able to craft their experiences and contemplation on the Divine in such a way so that I may discover my own truths within my heart.  I’ll share each of those books and what I learned from them in future blog posts.  It is heartbreaking that so many unhappy people in desperate need of spiritual counsel from all faiths avoid such authors because they associate Saints with the Catholic Church.  I am not Catholic but I assure you that there are no better spokespeople or resources for such diverse and intrinsically valuable contemplation as these legends of spirituality.

Ready, Set, Blog!

Last week my friend Cress suggested incorporating a regular blog to support my goals of telling my story and helping reach out to others.  Although many of these blog posts may be incorporated in various forms to future publications, my goal is to simply capture the daily thoughts, ideas, and observations that occur and reflections on past events in a new light.

God Doesn’t Whisper is available on Amazon

Hey all,

Just announcing the upload and release of God Doesn’t Whisper on Amazon.  For Prime members it is free to borrow.  I look forward to everyone’s feedback.

Thanks,

Matthew

The vacation is over…

After uploading God, Gravity, and the Change Between the Couch Cushions last Friday I promised myself to take a few days off.  I caught up on chores, walked the dogs a bunch, and enjoyed a few movie marathons.

Now I am screening the book with a few friends and family counting on them to help identify any errors for me and provide constructive feedback.  After staring at a screen for months without the benefit of a professional editor I know that some mistakes slipped through the process.  Hopefully they will help me catch them before I actively share it with the rest of the world.

Back to work on the second book now.  As I said in GGCBCC, the first book represented a philosophy around pattern recognition and everyday observations of the human condition while the second book will focus on theological concepts surrounding the Divine Pattern and my experiences.

God, Gravity, and the Change Between the Couch Cushions is available on Amazon

God, Gravity, and the Change Between the Couch Cushions has been uploaded and released on Amazon.  For Prime members it is free to borrow.  I look forward to everyone’s feedback.

Thanks,

Matt